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The Arguement

Her : “That is the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard”

Him : “How is that being selfish when I am always ready to help others even when things might not concern me?”

Her : “Because in return you want them to help you also when times change”

Him : “Yeah…so?I think that is good.I help others and I expect others to help me in return.That is how it goes.”

“I can’t believe you think this is selfish .This is what friendship is all about according to me.And its not as if I expect this from every second person. Its germane only to my close ones.”

Her : “Even then… it is selfish”

Him : “Nope that is being helpful. What you do is being selfish and egocentric.”

“When somebody asks for help,you abjure it quite often if you have other important things.Now that is greedy”

Her : “What I do is called being unselfish.I don’t expect my friends to accompany me in things just to help me when they’ve more important tasks at hand.I understand them and know their priorities and hence I don’t want them to come help me when they have other significant things to do”

Him : “Yeah right…I’ll tell you what. Just because you have in your priorities things above than others,you have also started believing that others follow the same pattern and thus you neither want help nor do you help.”

Her : “But at least I don’t force people into helping me just because I’ve helped them.”

Him : “Believe me…when the relationship is pure, the helping doesn’t seem forced.”

P.S. – This is a conversation which I had with my friend a while back.All my life I’ve boasted of not being selfish at least.So this theory of her’s which out rightly called me greedy and self-centred shook me somewhat.I’ve still not been able to completely deny (or accept) the feasibility of her theory.And this is why I’ve created this post.If you believe you can shed some light on these two theories as to which which one is more feasible (if not better) in real life,feel free to comment.


About Epizeuxis

Blogger , Guitarist , Altruist , Athlete, Sophist ... these all describe me... But what all these symbolize is my desire to be able do all the things which life has to offer and constantly grow as an individual...


12 thoughts on “The Arguement

  1. They exchange in well crafted philosophical arguments. But this did not “help” me. Now I am really confused as they are both right and yet both wrong. HELP !

    Posted by Carl D'Agostino | November 23, 2011, 9:24 pm
  2. One should be helpful to others without expecting anything in return. If you expect to be helped in return then you are motivated by greed or having ulterior motives.

    Posted by adeeyoyo | November 24, 2011, 9:02 am
  3. If you help someone for any reason other than you want to … it’s the wrong reason

    Posted by Maxi | November 24, 2011, 11:42 am
  4. When you help others, a natural reward is that they are then more willing to help you.

    Posted by ladyfi | November 25, 2011, 10:06 am
  5. Yes, I agree with Maxi and with Lady Fi. If we offer help because we want to help, and for no other reason, then they are more likely to offer help to us when we need it, but it shouldn’t be a condition of what we do freely for them.

    Posted by Janice | November 25, 2011, 5:50 pm
  6. I don’t think the help in return should be expected, but I do think people are usually more than happy to reciprocate if feasible.

    Posted by pattisj | November 26, 2011, 5:07 am
  7. Thank You Everyone…I truly appreciate you stopping by. 🙂
    And about the getting help in return part. I also believe that once you’ve helped others they are willing to help you back and that is the only thing I expect.Thank you for making me realize that.
    So helping others and expecting (to a mild degree) it back is a lot better than neither helping nor expecting the help at all…

    Posted by Epizeuxis | November 26, 2011, 7:12 am
  8. Unreasonable expectations always meet a disheartening end and selflessness is a process which takes time to become a habit. Perhaps I see that both of you are confused between the two related concepts. Read the theory of Favor Bank presented very beautifully by Paulo Coelho in The Zahir. Maybe that should help you two draw the line between “friends” and “contacts”.

    Posted by apoyando | November 26, 2011, 4:32 pm
  9. One should be benevolent enough to help others without expecting.
    Whether people reciprocate the same or not is something that depends truely on their own wish,it is not upto us to decide.It is analogous for both the cases.

    Posted by Anonymous | November 28, 2011, 10:45 am
  10. LOL.

    and i agree with HER

    Posted by eva626 | November 29, 2011, 2:35 am
  11. Well, you both have a point. 😉

    Posted by giancarlo ♥ cinnamoroll;] | November 29, 2011, 9:19 am
  12. Fantastic post! Great caption, too. Calvin rules!

    Posted by The Hook | November 30, 2011, 8:47 pm

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About Epizeuxis

An Infrequent blogger, amateur guitarist , Altruist and a Sophist with a desire to be able do all the things which life has to offer and constantly grow as an individual.

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